remembering the good old bio days 

isabel amused with dylan's stories 

the king of talk himself, dylan 

with cecilia who goes by the name of ces these days (sosi!). we used to call her titing. 

with isabel, the married one in the group 

ning, dylan, isabel 

right lights, angles and make-up

Tina Ganda. Tinkerbell sent this pic to me via mms during Valora's wedding. I really wanted to be there. Not because I didn't want to miss Valora's important occasion or I find weddings romantic. It's because events like this gives me the chance to dress up. Hehe! kidding. I'll be waiting for your pics, mermaid! :)

Ning, Me and Cecilia. My college buds.

Valentine's Postmortem Thoughts

I've been consciously trying to restrain myself from blogging these past few days. I didn't want flooding my blog with cornball thoughts in the season that was never made for someone like me. Although I have pretty much convinced myself that I'm okay, thing with Valentine's day is that it magnifies the heartaches you've been desperately trying to conceal. It kinda opens up old wounds that you thought were healing well. Suddenly you realize that you are after all, keloidal. Yeah right, did I just say I’m shying away from crappy sentiments?

Not too long ago, as I was heading for school, my brother instructed my nieces, “okay girls, give your Tita Grace a big hug and a kiss…coz no one else would do that to her today.” Ouch.It was Valentine’s day. Before I could switch to Gabriella mode, my nieces were taking turns in giving me not only hugs and kisses but a pat in the back. And I thought my brother has outgrown making fun of me. It seems he has found his allies. These kids were too young to comprehend the gravity of my condition but their showers of affection did melt my heart. My kuya was right after all. No one else hugged me that day. Not that I was expecting somebody in particular to do so.

The more I tried to ignore the season, the more it haunted me. Love, after all doesn’t only come in romantic form. Love from family and friends is worth celebrating, too. About 5 years ago, 2 of my good friends Sharon and Betty were nursing their broken hearts. Though they were coping well, there was that palpable pain you could sense they were going through. And Valentine’s day kinda rubs it in. I didn’t want to see them in such pain. We gathered other single friends who needed some form of amusement in one of the harshest days of the year. Sharon bought each of us a white rose. To quote one of Betty’s favorite poems “why wait for somebody to bring you flowers when you can plant your own garden?” My heartbroken friends did survive and enjoy the day, after all. For me it was a childlike delight to see my friends happy. It was a mission accomplished.

The following year, my previously wounded friends found romance once again. As expected, I was trying to keep up with my responsibilities as president of the of the “soltera club”. My co-founders of the said organization Elaine and Jessa were out in the mountains on their rolling clinic, so that left me with no one to hang out with on that day.
Then I thought of Ai, who was then dehydrating herself to death from all the tears she has shed from a recent failed relationship. We called on Ditdit, the resident boyfriend of every single girl in the class. My valentine’s outreach program was getting to be a tradition.

The next year, the tradition ended. There was no heartbroken friend around. I was out with my co-interns now best buds singing our hearts out at the videoke party we set up at the dorm. Since then I’ve been tagged “Britney” for making a mock of her songs. And I wasn’t even drunk. I coped pretty well with every Valentine’s day thereafter. I was either on duty or out with friends.

This year, it was time to revive the tradition. Although most of my friends this time are happily attached, including Elaine, yeah Elaine, who has yet to tender her resignation letter from our org, my good friend Pipay was being tormented by some guy who was giving her mixed signals. I didn’t want her sulking at a corner of her room waiting for the call or text that might never come. I know the feeling too well. As it turned out, I was the one needing the shoulder to cry on. I spoke with an axe buried in my chest with my blood spurting all over the place.

The call did come, earlier in the day from the one who holds the key to my heart, only to ask me which was better, tulips or roses…. and they weren’t even for me. He adores his new girl so much it kills me. One of the most awful feelings in the world is to be jealous when when you know you don't have the right to be. Pips asked me this question: “why are you always there for him, was he ever there for you?” Both of us knew I didn’t have to answer that. The minute it hit 12, we congratulated ourselves for surviving the day and decided it was time to go home. Janis Ian’s song “At Seventeen” began to echo on my mind. It was an Ally Mcbeal moment with a different soundtrack.

Current Events

Valora aka Mermaid is back in the country. She got married in New York almost 2 years ago with long time boyfriend James. Now they're getting married here to celebrate it with family and friends who weren't able to join them the last time in the states, the lolas (Mama Fe, Snow, Tinkerbell, et al) are definitely coming to the event on February 12. This spells a boohoohoo moment for me coz I'm the only one who can't come. For a dear friend like Valora, I could fly for the occasion, like I did when Sarah got married, if only I wasn't on training yet. 'tong career talaga, sagabal sa social life. tsk.tsk.

Incidentally, the Radiologists in the country are having a convention in Manila on February 10- 12. It would have been a good excuse to slip into Manila for a few days and attend Mermaid's wedding. Since I have yet to receive my first salary as a resident in radiology, travelling would be beyond my means. I'm currently under the grant of the Famas' (Fafa and Mama's) Foundation. Being in Radiology, med reps don't follow us around (read: we're not useful to them) so the idea of having sponsors is alien to our department. Besides, if we were to have a sponsor, I'd be the last person to be considered being sent to the convention. I'm the most junior, too neophyte to even understand the discussions they will be having. Shawie is dancing at the convention. It would've been fun to watch.

A childhood friend of mine, Techie is getting married as well this month, on Feb 7 (her birthday) at the Manila Cathedral, the church where I was baptized. The whole family is invited but only my mom and my brother are attending. The following month, another childhood friend, Sheila is getting married, on her birthday too, on March 10. Again, in Manila. Hmm.. my birthday is on December 22. There's still time. Err, for the next christmas shopping, that is. What were you thinking?

Dylan is coming home to the city on Feb 19. Don't worry, Dyls, I'm gathering our college friends to welcome you home. I'll be the band majorette. Isabel, Cecilia and Luningning will be bringing the banner with your name on it, written in neon colors. Hehe! I'm not sure if I could get Sheryl and Donnabelle to join us. I haven't been seeing Sheryl in the hospital lately and Donnabelle texted she wasn't sure about her sched yet. Is it me or is is the white coat that I wear on duty that makes me feel ancient? When I get around Isabel, a student nurse and Cecilia, a PGI at the hospital, no one would think we're of the same age. Yet when I'm with Sheryl, who's a 3rd year pedia resident, I feel slightly late-bloomeerish. I hope I don't get that feeling when we all see one another at our mini-reunion.