Huling Hirit for 2005

...I wanted to post my year-ender but then I am not in the mood for dramatic yakking right now. I just recovered from a difficult chemo cycle. If not for Elaine's hilarious messages on the yahoo chatroom a few hours before my last chemo session, it would have been another emotional on top of being a difficult cylcle. I admit I have a low laughing threshold. It may be the same reason why I enjoy being in theRadio dept, people are always funny in there, especially Sir Ruel, who by the way I promised a video with him in it. I love surrounding myself with funny people.

...I've been thinking of selling some of my clothes and bags which I never used. Since my brother and his family moved to their new house (my big brother's house), transporting my stuffs made me realize I got plenty of clothes that I no longer wear and things that only gathered dusts. Since I don't know how to put up a garage sale, I'm thinking of selling them through the internet.

...I'm the type who keeps things for sentimental reasons. The candy wrapper of the goodies that my crush gave me during med school, to the tickets to the concerts and basketball games I've watched are still with me. Maybe I seriously need to learn a thing or two about letting go. Holding on is a carcinogenic trait, so I've learned.

... A few hours left before 2006. I'm actually excited about what's in store for me. I'm crossing my fingers it will be a better year for me and my friends who have been crying for most of 2005. Mama Fe, Tina and mga Dyosa friends, Alex, etc... We'll stop crying na ha? Things can only get better, trust me. There are seasons in our lives we have to go through. Now is the beginning of another season we should look forward to.

Wishing everyone a fruitful year head filled with God's blessings. :)

Birthday Pics

captions to follow... still have to prepare for my chemo this afternoon.

Birthday and Christmas Bits

The past week has been real busy for most of us. I almost completely forgot about my "critical" condition and went on to celebrate the happiest times of the year. Here are tidbits of the week:

-Epok, who's on my friendster list and a team mate of Marco (yeah, the dreamboat) greeted me on my birthday. For someone with a celebrity status greeting me on my special day, I was caught off-guard and was really touched by the gesture. He is definitely one of the nicest ( not to mention cutest) guys from the blue eagles.

-Marco, the dreamboat replied to my forwarded christmas message. Styx, Melissa and I were talking about him last Friday and it just dawned on me to greet him after 3 years, just to check if he still has the same number. Still the same nice Marco that I liked. But then we're not friends. I will forever be a fan and I'm contented with that.

-My model friend Carlo greeted me after a long time of not communicating with each other. I actually forgot to include him in my text greetings for friends. He gave me a personalized greeting and I was amused that he still remembers me.

-I noticed most of my friends' Christmas greetings came with names of them and their other halves. Like "Merry Christmas from Jayson and Sharon... from Bong and Brenda.... from Dave and Techie" Even my good friend from high school who's in a happy relationship with another girl also signed out her greetings with her name and her girlfriend's name. I replied to Sharon,who knows my flipside, "Merry Christmas, too... from M---- and Grace. Hehehe. Sharon laughed it off. I was tempted to also sign out "From Orlando and Grace Bloom".

-When I turned 20, I got depressed. I didn't want to leave my teenage years. I stayed at home and let the day passed like it was just another ordinary day. This year, I was afraid that might happen again, with me turning *ouch* 30. But with everything that has happened to me this year, I've learned about life's uncertainties. We'll never know when it's going to be our last birthday. So I decided to celebrate it despite my status. This is the first time in a long time that I didn't celebrate it with my "Dyosa Lolas". Like Mama Fe says, nasira ang "panata" ko to be with them at this time of the year. (It's ok, we'll be seeing one another in April for my rad theraphy.) I spent my day instead with my "talent pool" and friends at the hospital. And I didn't regret it.

-This year has been my most emotional birthday and christmas. On my birthday, I couldn't hold back tears. Not because some people I expected to remember me have forgotten about me but because the folks I wasn't expecting to greet me went out of their way to let me know they remembered me. How very touching. Last night, as I was packing my presents for my family, I was all in tears. I was happy because God gave me another year to spend christmas with the people I love but at the same time sad because I didn't know how many birthdays and christmases I have left to spend before my health finally gives in.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Highly Recommended

"Who Stole My Magic" by Jenny Manuel, the latest book published by Summit, the publisher of leading magazines like Cosmopolitan. This is not just for women who had a recent break up. This is a good read for anyone who has had their heart broken, something to put them back on track. I recommended this book to Mama Fe and just now she texted me that she was touched and it made her cry. Nope this isn't a drama fiction but a handy booklet that contains advices that are a sure fire way to bring back senses into your head which, in one way or another has been slightly damaged by that little thing called love. My favorite advice was the "don't bother asking why". Here's a line from that chapter, "Asking someone to explain why they don't love you, or won't love you or can't love you is like asking someone to explain why the wind blows."

Go buy it. It sells P150 at magazine stands. It would make a nice Christmas present for friends nursing their broken hearts, on the brink of insanity.

These Guys Will Guard My Blog While I Go Celebrate my Birthday and the Holidays

I can almost hear Ai saying "san mo na naman nakuha yang mga lalaki mo?" They're probably macho dancers somewhere, but since they are appearing on my blog, they have to dance wholesome albeit funny moves. Dance mga bading, dance!

Ramblings

I'm taking a leave from the world again. This afternoon would be sked for my 4th chemo. I am praying it doesn't get worse from my previous cycles. I hope to recover fast.

I don't know but I'm feeling more at peace these days. Happy, even. If I die today, it will be one happy death. But I still want to watch the ongoing SEA games, though. Some other time then.