Just as I was trying to get up, a strong blow was shot at my direction, knocking me to the ground once again. Yesterday, June 18, 2005, I officially became the latest addition to breast cancer statistics.
Yes, I have Breast Cancer.The biospsy sent to PGH for 2nd opinion revealed that it was Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, not Ductal Papilloma as previously read. It was reviewed by 4 pathologists. My surgeon staged it as IIb. Neither an early nor a late stage. I will be undergoing another surgery again ASAP to remove the lymph nodes and nipple. Along with that, I''m given the choice between chemotherapy or hormonal therapy. Very long and taxing treatment, I know. It's father's day today. It's sad that the gift I have for my dad is this news.
At this point, I honestly don't know what to think.I'm too exhausted going through what I've been through . Although I'm strongly holding on to my faith, something is telling me not to keep my hopes up whenever i see a light a the end of the dark tunnel, for it might just be another incoming train ready to crush me to the bones.
What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger, but sometimes what doesn't kill you makes you want to die. Pardon me. Please let me grieve for a while.
2 comments:
a song from REM. please hold on.
When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on
Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes
Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go, (hold on)
When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on
'Cause everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone
If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on
Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts. You are not alone
ate grace, the whole family is praying for you. hang in there.
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