Lassitude

In a few months, I will let go of my position as a school physician. It's pretty hard to reconcile being a doctor and a make up artist. Local people still view the MUA as someone who works in a beauty salon and not as a person who practices art.

The last thing I wanna hear from a patient is his/her asking about my rates as an MUA or tips on how to shape the eyebrows when I'm seriously discussing the pathophysiology of his/her sickness. I make sure to separate my function as a doctor and as a makeup artist. I don't offer my services as an MUA to my patients. I think both careers are suffering if I put them together. One has to go.

Does this mean I'll be going fulltime as a makeup artist after I resign? Maybe not. The beauty industry is a cut-throat business that has a lot of issues I'd rather not delve into. No pressure for me. I just wanna enjoy the art even if it does not pay. Once I make a living out of it, that's when stress arises. It's not like medicine where we swear by the Hippocratic oath to abide by our work ethics. Jealousy, bad talks, politics and stealing of clients are things I don't wanna deal with, if I pursue being a full time MUA.

I might still practice my career as a physician in some company where the crowd is more mature to know the difference between Ma'am and Doc, where the halls are not packed with rowdy young people, and where pedestrians move to the side when a car is passing.

Maybe I'll take writing more seriously or simply enjoy my life as a housewife. Or move to another country with my husband where people don't know my medical credentials and live happily as a make up artist or a writer. I don't know. For the nth time, I'm at a loss.