Yayness

Yay! Marco, my dream guy has added photos to his friendster. He looks kinda old in his new pic, his wrinkles are showing. I wanted to message him and ask what camera he used coz the photo came out really crisp and clear.Of course I didn't do it. It's been a long time since I last interacted with him and I wouldn't want him to remember my blue eagles stalker days. Thinking of him reminded me that I used to have a fine taste in men. Whatever happened to that. Darn.

By the way, I just got back from hell for the 3rd time. From chemo, that is. Sorry is due to my dear friends who have been texting me during those hell days, to no avail. Sorry if I seemed impolite. I've been dead to the world and I was forcing myself to sleep in an attempt to escape that horrible feeling brought about by chemo. God, I hate cancer. Nobody deserves to go through such hell. Not even my loathers. I couldn't explain the feeling. It's like wanting to throw up all the time and ncthing comes out. That and the metallic taste in your mouth gives you an aversion to food. But it's not just that. There seemed to be something going on inside your body and not being able to understand what was exactly wrong with it. All I knew was that it was disgusting. The worst part of it is knowing I'll have to keep coming back to hell every 21 days for 3 more cycles. This gets me thinking if this is really worth all the trouble. I can only hope it is.

Mama Fe, my next chemo schedule will be on December 2. Schedule your depression any day but that or a few days after that. It will be tough putting back senses into your head with me traversing hell at those times. Hearing your love affairs with monsters made me want to puke all the more. Things will get better, just believe.

Alex, thanks for the nice thoughts. For the first time at least I wasn't waiting for the text or call that I knew would never come. Not that it came, maybe I was just too sick and too tired to care. I'll be going back to work tomorrow. Speaking of work, it really shames me that I have to be absent for a long time everytime I undergo chemo.But I don't want to go back to work in a very pathetic state either, with a vomit bag around me all the time. I'm just thankful that my bosses and colleagues are understanding enough of my condition. They have arranged that I don't go on 24 hrs while on chemo. I really hope this ordeal will be over soon so I'd stop being a burden to my co-workers.

Styx and the gang, thanks for being there. You be good as you always are, alright?

Pong2x, thanks for the vcds you lent me. It really helped fight off depression while I was recuperating.

To the rest of the angels who walk on earth to help me keep going, I thank God for you!