Love Can Make You Stupid

I could dish out the best advices on love, bring back senses into anyone else's head, shield myself from getting hurt, but still end up vulnerable and find myself doing the most stupid things out of love. I am human after all. I feel. I bleed. I love...for the most part, unrequitedly.

I am drawn to the wrong guys. More often than not, to the commitment-phobic flirts who simply want to test their charms on me. For the virulent few who manage to break into my normally impermeable walls, they cause me deep trouble.They're the kind who comes on strong yet when reciprocated, suddenly slams off the brakes and changes his mind on an instant, wanting you to get off and go take a hike alone! They can be the most cruel species on the planet and leave you hurting like hell. I have been subjected to their cruelty more than once. I fell into their trap over and over again. If that's not stupid, I don't know what it is. If for any consolation, none of these boys know they got me hooked for a time. I succeeded in pretending to be cool about it when deep inside I was in agony.

My rational self tells me to stay away from these guys. They do not deserve me. They can only bring me pain. Someone better may be on his way. My lovestruck self tells me no, he's gotta be the one. No one else has made my heart pound this way. I cannot let him go. Dang it. That's my half-demonic- driven self speaking already.

I can tell what's right from wrong, alright. i just refuse to do something about it. Love can be far too intoxicating to get your senses working. There's always that hope that he'll wake up one day and realize he truly wants me, even when I know it's the remotest of all remote possibilities, that I'm only leading myself to more pain.

If only life was simpler. If only I could make that one person love me back the way I love him. If only I could tell my heart to stop beating for the one who cannot love me in return. If only I could wrap my heart with steel and tell it exactly what to feel.

Oh love, however lost, however unrequited can be so powerful to reduce the most sensible persons into idiots. I don't happen to be excluded from the list.