Gratitude Blog

I've been my usual pessimistic self in my recent posts that I forgot what I learned from watching "The Secret". Since I'm on a manic episode.. errr.. happier and relaxed state now, I decided to list the things that I am grateful for. These are simple things that made my day brighter than usual:

1. I found a new online job. I got an email today for an interview and it went well that I'm starting it on Monday. About 2 weeks ago, I applied for another job that got me excited because it was a perfect fit for my educational background. The buyer told me that she was going to hire me once her payment process is verified but I patiently waited and found out that other applicants have been hired instead. I cancelled my trip with my hubby to Manila just so I could focus on that new job, only to be left waiting for nothing. I guess this is my second wind, as another job was posted which has something to do with medicine as well. The buyer is a doctor himself, like my boss in my first online assignment who is likewise very pleasant to deal with. I trust that this will finally push through.

2. My Cargo Blu-Ray Pressed Powder arrived in the mail today. It was shipped from US and got to me in exactly 7 days, including weekends. That fast! When I tried it before heading off to work in the school clinic, it had a flawless finish that covered my skin imperfections. I couldn't keep myself from looking at the mirror every chance I could get. This product is miraculous.

3. I got a parking space in a mall where it is extremely difficult to find one. Today is an exceptionally busy day in the mall because another parking lot was occupied with booths that cars had to find any space outside the mall where they can fit in. Like a blessing that fell from the skies, an empty space showed up just in time, at the covered parking lot at that.

4. No moron encounters on the road. Just the usual idiot stuffs. Ok, no negative vibes. It was a smooth driving day.

5. I found magic chips on the grocery store. Yummy!

6. My loved ones are kept safe and in good health.

7. I learned to smile again. After being gloomy and bitchy these past few days, it was almost impossible to believe that I could smile again.

8. I found time to blog again.


Thank you Lord for all the blessings despite my dwindling faith. I can be stupid sometimes but thank you for not giving up on me and for finding me reasons to feel better about myself.

Alyas Girl Topak

I was described as a girl with an artistic temperament in my high school yearbook caption. I was originally pictured to dabble in different art forms but then things got lost in revision that the art in a temper became the highlight of my character which is an eloquent way to say that I have "topak" (being slightly off kilter). It was fairly accurate but definitely not the caption I want my offsprings and grandchildren to read about me. Not that I throw tantrums in public and run amok at the slightest provocation, but I do have a bad case of mood swings. I am happy one minute and then suddenly feel the world crumbling the next time.

Sometimes I do think I have manic-depressive condition, bipolar disorder, or maybe schizophrenia. But I decided to be kind to myself and be convinced that I am normal, only with occasional lapses in emotional management. I still need to grow up, seriously.

Like a few hours ago, I was ecstatically testing the new toys in the form of makeups that I asked my hubby to buy for me while he was in Manila. I was extremely happy that my hubby is back and I get to hug my living teddy once again. But now that everyone else is asleep and I'm alone to drown in my own thoughts, I once again ask myself, "what is there to live for?" I'm supposed to be grateful to be married to an extremely wonderful guy- an exceptional one who can deal with my "topak", to have a good family, to be blessed with jobs that no longer stress the hell out of me, and the chance to enjoy doing makeup for other people. How come I still feel melancholic? It seems I have to keep a regular dose of something to excite me to keep me looking forward for the future.

Maybe this is just PMS, or the annoying street kids that wouldn't keep their hands off from washing my car despite that I signaled "no" a couple of times to them. C'mon, do they really expect me to lower my window and allow the rain to get in the car just to hand them over some coins? Or maybe it's the morons who ride motorbikes who enjoy occupying the middle of the fast lane but run 40kph in the highway and won't bother to move aside to give way to other motorists. Grrr.. Sometimes I do understand what went on Rolito Go's head when he committed his crime. But then as he realizes it too late, it was not worth it.

I hate this feeling of living just for the heck of it, without the spark that makes me look forward to the next day. Like, what is there to look forward to anyway, meet more annoying people and morons on the road? I certainly have a lot of reasons to be happy more than my reasons to be upset but I guess my fear of not being happy for a longer time is what’s making me a very reluctantly happy person now. I am imprisoned by my own fears that I no longer enjoy the moments that should be celebrated. Too many uncertainties about my health, my career path, my dreams that are making me too tensed about what lies ahead. Faith is the only thing I can hold on to but sometimes it gets difficult to get a grip when it keeps slipping off.

I need something to be passionate about. I need to get a high without being low the next moment. I need positive vibes to heal my negative energies. Blah, blah, blah. My off-kilter self has taken me over once again. Maybe all I need is a good sleep for now.

Styx Got Married

Me doing my thing- make up. Styx, my intern before as an Internal Medicine Resident til I changed gears to Radiology. She was a videoke and gimik buddy when friends my age started settling down while I still was up for night outs and fun stufs.Now, I had the privilege to do her makeup on her wedding last Saturday.

I don't normally do makeups on clients with this attire. I was one of the secondary sponsors to that should explain the get up.

They Think My Blog Sucks So They Keep Pestering Me to Remove Links

With the Summer Olympics last August, I regrettably didn't feel the olympic spirit as much as I wanted too. Reason: the TV coverage was poor. The local channel that had the exclusive rights were showing sports that weren't spectator types. Although they sometimes showed events in which the Philippine delegation was participating at, most of the coverage would pass for a cure to insomnia.

I surfed other cable channels to hopefully watch better coverage but it seems the exclusive rights were kept very exclusive only to those who can afford pay per view. I didn't get to see how Nastia Liukin nabbed the gymnastics gold and how Alicia Sacramone lost her balance and concentration except for some news bits on other local channels.

Lucky for those in the US, they can enjoy direct tv packages that can enable them not to miss their most awaited events like the NFL through the DirectTV NFL Sunday Ticket. They can have a variety of premium channels to choose from. Movies to sports channels, you name it, direct tv has them. The NFL Sunday Ticket has the widest selection of NFL matchups, with as many as 14 games every Sunday. With this NFL TV Package, they can follow their favorite game at the comfort of their own home, in HD at that.

Don't Bottle It Up

While hydration with potable water is a highly recommended habit, bottled water has become a convenient means to comply to our drinking requirements. It saved us from drinking parasite-laden tap water and taking in other microorganisms in water that threaten our health. Problem solved and we will live happily ever after.

Apparently not. Yahoo news reports a study done by an environmental advocacy group saying that bottled waters have various contaminants no different from tap water. The people from bottled water industry counters that the findings are faulty. I personally did not read the study so I cannot judge whether it is valid.

Apart from bacteria, chemicals were said to be detected from the tested samples, including acetaminophen, caffeine, fertilizer, solvents, radioactive element strontium and by products from plastic. Some are believed to come from the tap water used in the process while others are believed to have leached from plastic bottles.

I bring bottled with me everyday to work to keep up with my ideal hydration status. Plastic bottles are more convenient to carry around than a glass that could break in my bag or a metallic cup that would spil its contents. Caring for the environment could get tough if their are no better alternatives around.

So does this mean we have to stop drinking water? Tap water is contaminated. Bottled water has chemicals. Which is which? Sometimes it gets difficult to decide which is the better option or if we have a choice at all.

Suit Yourself

I noticed that men's clothings are more difficult to choose than women's clothes. Not that I'm planning to sashay in men's clothings anytime soon, but I learned that picking stuffs for my hubby is more complicated than shopping for whatever is on the rack. Men are generally more choosy with their wardrobes.

For classy tailor-made suits, there are clothing measurements, style and garment type to consider. Single-button, Six-button double-breasted, ticket pocket, lapel, side vents, dark, medium or light fabrics.Whew! To make life less complicated, there's an NY- based online shop for custom suit. They have been around for 40 years as makers of quality men's suit.

Sleek-looking outfits need not be limited to the Hollywood carpet. An Angelina Jolie needs a Brad Pitt so have your hubby set an appointment online at Mysuit for measurements. Styling and choosing garments would come easier as the next steps with the help of expert people from the shop. It's important the the person wearing the clothes must be comfortable with the design, so his inputs will matter. A touch of his personal flair for fashion must reflect in his suit.

The turn around time is around 2 weeks. The price of these quality suits would start at $495.

Custom-made suits at off-the rack prices, anyone? With a few clicks on the mouse, your man is all set to looking the debonair that he is.

The Enelyx Kids

This caricature was drawn by my artistic niece Caitlin. She creates comic strips with her and her sisters in it. Reading those elicits laughter from me. I didn't realize the magnitude of their imagination.

This is them, animated as their caricature version. Xylene, Caitlin and Chinchin.

Jobs in Alberta, Canada

It was announced in the news yesterday that Alberta, Canada is opening its doors to more overseas Filipino workers. Doctors are included in the list of jobs to fill in.

Now my friend Mama Fe is excited once again about the new opportunity. She'd try anything just to get away from this country. She fears the political situation come 2010 and the falling US economy that might affect us as well. I can't blame her really. It's an act of self preservation. When you're a health worker in this country, you can't help but look for other options to reap the hard work and money you've invested for years to get to where you are now.

She's been pushing me to submit my resume to all possible agencies to try my luck as well. Honestly, I don't know if I really want to work abroad. Although I continue to lose hope in my country through everyday driving, by analyzing the lack of discipline and the mentality of people living here and all, still this is home for me. As much as I want to live in a better place where I have easy access to all the makeups that will not cost me an arm and leg for international shipping, I don't want to be away from my comfort zone. With my health condition, why would foreign employers hire me anyway?

Maybe I am still hopeful that things will change and that my place will prove to be the better option to live in. I don't know how that will happen but I want to believe in miracles.

Abdominal Wall Problem

I think I may be suffering from a nerve entrapment syndrome, if not myofascial irritation. Something has been unusually wrong with my tummy that I've been in pain for one week now.
I have no changes in my eating habits or bowel function. No palpable mass. I've been twisting my brains trying to diagnose my own condition.

The pain is triggered by light touch but disappears on deep palpation. Sudden movements make me want to scream in pain. Driving along rocky roads pushes the pain button further. The pain was initially pricking in character, which became crampy later. For a while I wanted to believe in "barang" since I could not grasp its manifestations. Then it occurred to me that this is something along the abdominal wall . There is hyperalgesia is somewhere along the lateral margins of the left rectus abdominis muscles radiating to the left lower ribs.

I took all possible medications from Dolfenal to Celebrex to Motilium to Lyrica which got me swirling in dizziness. I didn't realize that the latter's side effects are of that magnitude to prevent me from going to work today. All medications offered little or no relief.

Until now, the hyperalgesia is still there but manageable than yesterday. I badly need an acupuncture but I can't find anyone who practices it here. Sometimes I do want to seriously study acupuncture because I believe in it so much. I just don't know where and how.

For now I can only pray that this is nothing serious and I can go on with life as normal as possible.